2017
The Gospel’s Impact on Your Marriage (& Potential Marriage)
Discipleship, Uncategorized | by Pastor Craig Sturm
The gospel has impact in every sphere of life, including marriage! Knowing that Jesus Christ took on human flesh and became the substitutionary atonement for our sin through his death on the cross changes everything. It can change the way you speak to your husband after a long day, the way you engage your wife when you’re feeling impatient, the way you come back together after a heated argument. These weekly interactions can be motivated and filtered through the knowledge that Jesus intercedes for His people, welcoming us to the family of God.
If you’re in the thick of this battle or preparing for your marriage and need some guidance, we recommend the book Love That Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace by Gary and Betsy Ricucci and use it as the foundational book for our pre-marital class. It is simple, biblical, and gospel-centered. The Ricuccis powerfully draw out nine specific ways that the gospel impacts marriage (and by implication all of our relationships) and changes how we interact with and relate to our spouse.
1. Because of the gospel, christians have become new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, in marriage, our past does not define us, confine us, or determine our future. “I don’t have to be weighed down with bitterness and anxiety like I was when we first got married.”
2. Because of the gospel, we are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7). Therefore we can live free of all guilt and condemnation for every sin and trust that God, in His mercy, will be gracious to us. “I don’t have to keep apologizing for that terrible time when I made a selfish decision without my husband’s input.”
3. Because of the gospel we can forgive, just as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). Nothing done against us compares to our sin against God. Therefore all offenses, hostility, and bitterness between Christians can be completely forgiven and removed. “I can forgive my wife when she raises her voice and then gives me the cold shoulder.”
4. Because of the gospel, we are accepted by God (Romans 15:7). Therefore we are not dependent on a spouse for who we are or what we need. “I don’t need to feel deflated and empty when my spouse isn’t giving me the attention I want.”
5. Because of the gospel, sin’s ruling power over us is broken (Romans 6:6, 14). Therefore we can truly obey all that God calls us to do in our marriage, regardless of any circumstance or situation. “We can follow God in this decision even though our friends and family disagree and we feel misunderstood.”
6. Because of the gospel, we have access to God through Christ (Hebrews 4:14-16). Therefore we can at any time take any need in our marriage to the One who can do all things. “God, please provide the finances we need in this season of unemployment.”
7. Because of the gospel, we have hope (Romans 5:1-4). Therefore we can endure any marital difficulty, hardship, or suffering, with the assurance that God is working all to our greatest good (Romans 8:28).
“This flu season has been incredibly draining but I trust in God’s good work for our family.”
8. Because of the gospel, Christ dwells in us by his Holy Spirit (Galatians 3:13-14). Therefore we are confident that God is always with us and is always at work in our marriage, even when progress is imperceptible (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24). “I’m not seeing the leadership I want in my husband, but I can trust God is working.”
9. Because of the gospel, we have power to fight and overcome remaining sin, which continues to dwell and war within us (Romans 7:19-21, 24-25; Galatians 5:16-17). “I can pray and fight my inclination to lust over someone who is not my spouse.”
Marriage, in the best of days, is a struggle to live in the reality of these gospel truths. Praise God that His grace is as present and effective in our lives on our best days, as it is on our worst days! God’s desire and design for us is good. His grace is sufficient. His love is persevering. This is what the gospel teaches us. This is what brings hope!
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DCC’s Foundations for Marriage (Pre-Marital) Class is a 6-week study on biblical marriage. In it, couples will walk through the book mentioned above and consider vital issues in preparation for marriage: biblical foundations marriage; roles of husbands and wives; communication; conflict resolution; finances; and sexual intimacy. The class is open to engaged couples who want to build a solid foundation for their marriage and is required if you wish to have a DCC elder officiate your wedding. The next class begins Sunday, October 8 and meet approximately every other Sunday from 4-5:30pm for a total of six meetings. Learn more and register here.
That God would be glorified in gospel-soaked relationships,
Pastor Craig Sturm